As reported on the Daily Show
Dec. 15th, 2004 11:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
plutherusDespite Bush's much-vaunted push for "abstinence only" programs to replace sex ed:
According to recent statistics:
67% of graduating seniors have had sex.
31% intend to have sex.
And 2% become statisticians.
Also reported are some of the not-quite-accurate information being promulgated by abstinence programs ("Motto: Your tax dollars at work. For JESUS!")
"Is your children learning?"
Jerry Falwell and your child's new Abstinence Counselor believe the following:
- Condoms fail to prevent HIV infection 31% of the time.
- Pregnancy can result in mutual masturbation without intercourse.
- 50% of gay teens currently have AIDS.
- Abortions commonly lead to infertility and suicide.
- AIDS can be spread through tears.
And, remember, on this happy Christmas season, as you go out to your mall or miniature golf course, don't forget to Watch Out For TERRORISTS!
According to recent statistics:
67% of graduating seniors have had sex.
31% intend to have sex.
And 2% become statisticians.
Also reported are some of the not-quite-accurate information being promulgated by abstinence programs ("Motto: Your tax dollars at work. For JESUS!")
"Is your children learning?"
Jerry Falwell and your child's new Abstinence Counselor believe the following:
- Condoms fail to prevent HIV infection 31% of the time.
- Pregnancy can result in mutual masturbation without intercourse.
- 50% of gay teens currently have AIDS.
- Abortions commonly lead to infertility and suicide.
- AIDS can be spread through tears.
And, remember, on this happy Christmas season, as you go out to your mall or miniature golf course, don't forget to Watch Out For TERRORISTS!
