Possibly of interest to Trekkies
Feb. 3rd, 2008 10:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
plutherusBack in August of 2001, Paramount announced they were going to start a new TV series called Enterprise, that was going to be a prequel to Star Trek, about the first warp-drive starship and the origins of the Federation and stuff.
Amongst their pre-show publicity, they released a list of the main characters, and brief biographical sketches of each.
Going off of that, I wrote up the following, intending to turn it into a script synopsis to try to sell to Paramount. Unfortunately, like many of my writing projects, I never got around to finishing it.
Remember, this was before the show started, so all we knew about the characters was a few sentences, which is why Sato is referred to as a man, and why T'Pau (name changed to T'Pol for the series, thankfully) acts like a Vulcan. And none of the characters are naked.
Enterprise vs. Gandhi
Plot points: The Enterprise encounters a peaceful, technologically advanced society. They are intrigued by the idea of a federation of multiple species, having never thought of such a thing before – being strict isolationists since their one other contact with another civilization. That one was violent (Klingons, maybe?) and they are pacifists. They will join the federation, and share their advanced technology, if the Enterprise will disarm itself. They discuss it. T’Pau thinks it’s an excellent idea. The others don’t. They eventually refuse, of course. The planet is attacked (by the Klingons?), the Enterprise defends them, drives off the threat. They are horrified by Archer’s actions, and decide not to join. They use a new shield they developed to seal themselves off from the rest of the galaxy, and are never heard from again. Maybe their new technology is a replicator or something – make the audience think this is how they get it, but, of course, since Kirk didn’t have one, but Picard did, they don’t get it from Archer.
Dramatis Personae
First Speaker Fillendille: Leader of the planet, Saban IV. A kind, likeable guy, with a sense of humour. Unfortunately, his ideals and the Federation’s are not compatible. Both he and Archer are saddened by this fact.
Chancellor Darshile: Leader of the opposition party. Kind of a jerk. Doesn’t like the Feds. Insists from the beginning that they have nothing to do with them. Gloats and is terribly happy that his faction wins in the end. We wanna punch him in the face just to prove that we’re not a violent people.
Captain Krawg: He’s a Klingon. Violent, utterly disdainful of the pacifists of Saban IV. Wants something the planet has. Dilithium? Diprozac? Who knows.
Captain Jackson Archer. Wants to explore strange new worlds and so on. Interested in the technology, but even more so in the culture.
Sub-commander T’Pau: Thinks Archer can learn from the Sabians (or whatever). In one scene, when she is riding humanity for being backwards and violent, and he is blaming her for stifling humanity’s progress, he gets pissed off, like this:
Archer: You…you would take their side in this! Because you’re just like them.
T’Pau: I agree they have many admirable qualities, however your premise is flawed. You are trying to reach a decision, there are no “sides” to take.
Archer: Like hell there aren’t. You agree with them! You think we’re just a bunch of violent apes! I… (taking a step towards her).
T’Pau: If your current behavior is intended to demonstrate otherwise, it is not succeeding.
In another scene:
T’Pau: Perhaps I should point out that, like my people, they are more able to control aggressive tendencies…
Archer: And we can’t, is what you’re saying? Humans are too violent to be…
T’Pau: Or, perhaps I shouldn’t.
T’Pau: Vulcans believe that peace should not depend on force.
Archer: Yeah, we’d like that, too.
Commander Charlie “Spike” Tucker: The engineer. Offbeat, sarcastic humour. Just a simple country warp-field engineer. Fascinated by the Sabians’ technology. Becomes friends with Fillendille – surprised that he has a sense of humour so similar to his own. Believes that this demonstrates that the two cultures could become good friends.
Dr. Phlox: Weird alien guy. Questions about the differences in humanity’s approach reveal wisdom that Archer can follow up on. Mentions Gandhi, and other famous pacifists he’s read about in the ships limited history files. (Which he complains should be updated and filled more – there’s just so much weirdness in Earth history.) Points out how strange humans are for not having any desire for internal consistency. Even today, they could never figure out the answers to life’s questions, and still follow dozens of completely different traditions. Normally, by the time a species gets out to space they have learned to put their major differences behind them, and have come to some kind of consensus on things. “But you. You have not even decided the questions everyone thinks they know the answers to. You can’t decide how many gods there are, or how the universe began, or even such elementary questions as what the purpose of your life is. Because you have somehow learned to cooperate even when you can’t agree among yourselves, who better to try to forge some kind of Federation between divergent alien species?”
Lieutenant Joe Mayweather: Helmsman. Friend of Spike’s. Raised on cargo ships, tons of space experience. Points out that the competitive drive that fuels all progress for all species on earth isn’t necessary after a certain point. That the Sabians have obviously achieved great heights socially and technologically without violent competition. Tucker can’t argue against the tech.
Lt. Commander Malcolm Reed: By-the-book soldier. Armory officer. Doesn’t really like the idea of disarming the ship. Maybe they have to just go on a particular mission disarmed, and he’s snuck something along with them, that later saves the day?
Ensign Hoshi Sato: Linguist/Comm officer. Doesn’t like space travel. Some good possibilities between him and Mayweather.
French scenes:
1.Bridge crew & Fillendille. Fillendille on the screen. He is speaking in Klingonese, but, according to Sato, “strangely”
ARCHER
What do you mean, “strangely”?
SATO
Well, sir, he’s using the idioms all wrong.
TUCKER
This coming from the man who tried to greet the last Klingons we met with a “Happy bucket on your dead sister”?
SATO
That’s not quite what I said. The reference was to a person’s honorable death, an important event among the Klingons. I just didn’t realize at the time that their verbs were not only gendered but…
T’PAU
Is it possible that perhaps his grasp of the language is beyond yours? After all, you were only exposed to the language for the first time a few months ago, and, as a human…
ARCHER
(Interrupting, hurriedly) Mister Sato. You were saying?
SATO
Uh, yes, sir. The idioms are not right. For instance, he made a reference to “kiKpah toPLek JAH”, which could be translated as “A cessation to your battles involving neither dishonor nor death.” To the Klingons, a logical impossibility.
MAYWEATHER
You mean, “Peace”?
SATO
It... could be taken mean that, sir, yes.
ARCHER
He’s wishing us “Peace” in Klingonese?
SATO
Yes sir, it would seem so.
We first meet Fillendille, establish that he’s had dealings with the Klingons before, is distrustful of outsiders, but is still a generally open-minded fellow. He is interested in the idea of a federation of planets, and invites the Captain to come on down to talk to him.
2: The bridge crew. The viewscreen is off. The captain points out that he seems like a nice enough fellow, and asks who else wants to go down. T’Pau, Mayweather, Sato and Phlox agree to descend with him. Establish motives: Archer is excited, T’Pau is skeptical of the humans’ abilities to introduce themselves without embarrassment. Mayweather is skeptical of Sato’s interpretations and Fillendille’s motives. Sato is excited to be allowed to go down, meeting a new life and new civilization.
3.Archer, T’Pau, Mayweather, Sato, Phlox. In the shuttle heading down to the planet’s surface. Phlox doesn’t like it, Sato points out that it’s reacting to an atmosphere, and flying slower than light, the way flying things were meant to. A bit of humor from Archer about Phlox’s ability to patch them back together if they crash. Mayweather’s aversion to Phlox’s sick bay – “I’ll try not to crash. Just in case, be sure all your parts are well-labeled, you wouldn’t want them reassembled in the wrong order, (or wrong person).” T’Pau is not amused by the jocularity.
4.Archer, T’Pau, Mayweather, Sato, Phlox meet Darshile and Fillendille. We dislike Darshile right away, as much as we like Fillendille. But the council of elders has decided that this matter is too important for Fillendille to do it alone. Establish that Darshile wants no dealings with the aliens. Show off the replicator. Mayweather says that Tucker would love that. Fillendille says that they’d be willing to share, but not with violent people. Archer assures him their mission is peaceful.
Tour of ship. Sees guns. PEACE??! You lied to us! You are just trying to steal our technology!
We have guns, yes. Warlike, no. Only in self defense.
Forget it. Go away. If we didn’t have weapons, those who did would overrun us. If you didn’t have them, those who did would not see you as a threat, and thus would leave you alone. Can’t convince him, the Feds are about to leave.
Klingons are about to attack. Shields up, can’t beam Fil back down. He is on bridge to witness attack, Enterprise cripples the Klingons, lets them live. Krawg sets course to ram them, Archer orders photon torpedoes fired. Klingon blows up into little tiny pieces.
FILLENDILLE
You destroyed that ship without even hesitating.
ARCHER
He gave me no choice. You were here. You saw what happened.
FILLENDILLE
If you did not have such powerful weapons, then perhaps there would have been another choice.
ARCHER
First Speaker, if we did not destroy the Klingon vessel, then we, including yourself, would all be dead now.
FILLENDILLE
(To T’Pau) Surely you understand what I’m talking about.
T’PAU
I do understand.
FILLENDILLE
At least there’s hope for some of you.
T’PAU
I do not, however, agree. To limit our available resources would, logically, limit our choices, not expand them. If the captain had provoked the battle, or used an excess of force beyond what was necessary to preserve our lives then your argument might perhaps have merit. However, that is not the case.
ARCHER
Thank you.
FILLENDILLE
Perhaps I have misjudged you captain. May I contact my people in private to discuss it?
ARCHER
As you will. You can use my ready room if you’d like.
He doesn’t trust them not to have the ready room bugged, wants to use the rec room he saw earlier. The captain agrees to clear it out for him. When he gets there, he sees Phlox studying Earth History – gets intrigued – asks to look at the device. Phlox has got the updated files he asked for from Earth. Fillendille asks to borrow it – asks if there is a private place he can borrow for some time - looks over it – for the next few hours, he’s locked in the captains ready room with the device, while the crew discuss his intentions - cut back and forth between Captain pacing, crew arguing, Darshile whining, and Fil watching scenes of Earch history: full of violence and stuff, but also striving to reach the stars, to better themselves. Sure there’s Hitler and Stalin and Pol Pot, but there’s also Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Edith Keeler, Doctors without borders, etc., George Washington, Abraham Lincoln (Kirk’s friend), Martin Luther King, etc. Not to mention Clowns Without Borders, and entire history of musical theater, great paintings, great artists (Slip a picture of Roddenberry in there real quick) Gone With The Wind, Metropolis, Shakespeare (“Few die well who die in battle” line from Henry V), music Beethoven, Mozart, the Beatles, John Williams, some old science fiction scenes showing us dreaming of a better place in the stars long before we reached it The Conquest of Space, Destination: Moon, JFK in Rice Stadium – “The Eagle has landed” “Houston, We have a problem” The Challenger disaster – later successes – “It is better to shoot for the moon and miss, than to never get off the ground”– the first Mars colonies – up to Zephram Cochrane…
He finally emerges.
FILLENDILLE
I see you are a much more complex species than I originally gave you credit for, Captain.
ARCHER
Then you have reconsidered? You will join with us?
FILLENDILLE
No, captain. Your species’ progress in such a short time frame shows the strength in your bravery, and your ambition, but you still have a ways to go. You are not ready to accept our ways, and we are not ready to accept you with yours. Depart now.
Then, as he goes, last line: But remember us, Captain, and return someday. Perhaps in a couple hundred years, your great-grand child and mine will travel together among the stars.
Amongst their pre-show publicity, they released a list of the main characters, and brief biographical sketches of each.
Going off of that, I wrote up the following, intending to turn it into a script synopsis to try to sell to Paramount. Unfortunately, like many of my writing projects, I never got around to finishing it.
Remember, this was before the show started, so all we knew about the characters was a few sentences, which is why Sato is referred to as a man, and why T'Pau (name changed to T'Pol for the series, thankfully) acts like a Vulcan. And none of the characters are naked.
Enterprise vs. Gandhi
Plot points: The Enterprise encounters a peaceful, technologically advanced society. They are intrigued by the idea of a federation of multiple species, having never thought of such a thing before – being strict isolationists since their one other contact with another civilization. That one was violent (Klingons, maybe?) and they are pacifists. They will join the federation, and share their advanced technology, if the Enterprise will disarm itself. They discuss it. T’Pau thinks it’s an excellent idea. The others don’t. They eventually refuse, of course. The planet is attacked (by the Klingons?), the Enterprise defends them, drives off the threat. They are horrified by Archer’s actions, and decide not to join. They use a new shield they developed to seal themselves off from the rest of the galaxy, and are never heard from again. Maybe their new technology is a replicator or something – make the audience think this is how they get it, but, of course, since Kirk didn’t have one, but Picard did, they don’t get it from Archer.
Dramatis Personae
First Speaker Fillendille: Leader of the planet, Saban IV. A kind, likeable guy, with a sense of humour. Unfortunately, his ideals and the Federation’s are not compatible. Both he and Archer are saddened by this fact.
Chancellor Darshile: Leader of the opposition party. Kind of a jerk. Doesn’t like the Feds. Insists from the beginning that they have nothing to do with them. Gloats and is terribly happy that his faction wins in the end. We wanna punch him in the face just to prove that we’re not a violent people.
Captain Krawg: He’s a Klingon. Violent, utterly disdainful of the pacifists of Saban IV. Wants something the planet has. Dilithium? Diprozac? Who knows.
Captain Jackson Archer. Wants to explore strange new worlds and so on. Interested in the technology, but even more so in the culture.
Sub-commander T’Pau: Thinks Archer can learn from the Sabians (or whatever). In one scene, when she is riding humanity for being backwards and violent, and he is blaming her for stifling humanity’s progress, he gets pissed off, like this:
Archer: You…you would take their side in this! Because you’re just like them.
T’Pau: I agree they have many admirable qualities, however your premise is flawed. You are trying to reach a decision, there are no “sides” to take.
Archer: Like hell there aren’t. You agree with them! You think we’re just a bunch of violent apes! I… (taking a step towards her).
T’Pau: If your current behavior is intended to demonstrate otherwise, it is not succeeding.
In another scene:
T’Pau: Perhaps I should point out that, like my people, they are more able to control aggressive tendencies…
Archer: And we can’t, is what you’re saying? Humans are too violent to be…
T’Pau: Or, perhaps I shouldn’t.
T’Pau: Vulcans believe that peace should not depend on force.
Archer: Yeah, we’d like that, too.
Commander Charlie “Spike” Tucker: The engineer. Offbeat, sarcastic humour. Just a simple country warp-field engineer. Fascinated by the Sabians’ technology. Becomes friends with Fillendille – surprised that he has a sense of humour so similar to his own. Believes that this demonstrates that the two cultures could become good friends.
Dr. Phlox: Weird alien guy. Questions about the differences in humanity’s approach reveal wisdom that Archer can follow up on. Mentions Gandhi, and other famous pacifists he’s read about in the ships limited history files. (Which he complains should be updated and filled more – there’s just so much weirdness in Earth history.) Points out how strange humans are for not having any desire for internal consistency. Even today, they could never figure out the answers to life’s questions, and still follow dozens of completely different traditions. Normally, by the time a species gets out to space they have learned to put their major differences behind them, and have come to some kind of consensus on things. “But you. You have not even decided the questions everyone thinks they know the answers to. You can’t decide how many gods there are, or how the universe began, or even such elementary questions as what the purpose of your life is. Because you have somehow learned to cooperate even when you can’t agree among yourselves, who better to try to forge some kind of Federation between divergent alien species?”
Lieutenant Joe Mayweather: Helmsman. Friend of Spike’s. Raised on cargo ships, tons of space experience. Points out that the competitive drive that fuels all progress for all species on earth isn’t necessary after a certain point. That the Sabians have obviously achieved great heights socially and technologically without violent competition. Tucker can’t argue against the tech.
Lt. Commander Malcolm Reed: By-the-book soldier. Armory officer. Doesn’t really like the idea of disarming the ship. Maybe they have to just go on a particular mission disarmed, and he’s snuck something along with them, that later saves the day?
Ensign Hoshi Sato: Linguist/Comm officer. Doesn’t like space travel. Some good possibilities between him and Mayweather.
French scenes:
1.Bridge crew & Fillendille. Fillendille on the screen. He is speaking in Klingonese, but, according to Sato, “strangely”
ARCHER
What do you mean, “strangely”?
SATO
Well, sir, he’s using the idioms all wrong.
TUCKER
This coming from the man who tried to greet the last Klingons we met with a “Happy bucket on your dead sister”?
SATO
That’s not quite what I said. The reference was to a person’s honorable death, an important event among the Klingons. I just didn’t realize at the time that their verbs were not only gendered but…
T’PAU
Is it possible that perhaps his grasp of the language is beyond yours? After all, you were only exposed to the language for the first time a few months ago, and, as a human…
ARCHER
(Interrupting, hurriedly) Mister Sato. You were saying?
SATO
Uh, yes, sir. The idioms are not right. For instance, he made a reference to “kiKpah toPLek JAH”, which could be translated as “A cessation to your battles involving neither dishonor nor death.” To the Klingons, a logical impossibility.
MAYWEATHER
You mean, “Peace”?
SATO
It... could be taken mean that, sir, yes.
ARCHER
He’s wishing us “Peace” in Klingonese?
SATO
Yes sir, it would seem so.
We first meet Fillendille, establish that he’s had dealings with the Klingons before, is distrustful of outsiders, but is still a generally open-minded fellow. He is interested in the idea of a federation of planets, and invites the Captain to come on down to talk to him.
2: The bridge crew. The viewscreen is off. The captain points out that he seems like a nice enough fellow, and asks who else wants to go down. T’Pau, Mayweather, Sato and Phlox agree to descend with him. Establish motives: Archer is excited, T’Pau is skeptical of the humans’ abilities to introduce themselves without embarrassment. Mayweather is skeptical of Sato’s interpretations and Fillendille’s motives. Sato is excited to be allowed to go down, meeting a new life and new civilization.
3.Archer, T’Pau, Mayweather, Sato, Phlox. In the shuttle heading down to the planet’s surface. Phlox doesn’t like it, Sato points out that it’s reacting to an atmosphere, and flying slower than light, the way flying things were meant to. A bit of humor from Archer about Phlox’s ability to patch them back together if they crash. Mayweather’s aversion to Phlox’s sick bay – “I’ll try not to crash. Just in case, be sure all your parts are well-labeled, you wouldn’t want them reassembled in the wrong order, (or wrong person).” T’Pau is not amused by the jocularity.
4.Archer, T’Pau, Mayweather, Sato, Phlox meet Darshile and Fillendille. We dislike Darshile right away, as much as we like Fillendille. But the council of elders has decided that this matter is too important for Fillendille to do it alone. Establish that Darshile wants no dealings with the aliens. Show off the replicator. Mayweather says that Tucker would love that. Fillendille says that they’d be willing to share, but not with violent people. Archer assures him their mission is peaceful.
Tour of ship. Sees guns. PEACE??! You lied to us! You are just trying to steal our technology!
We have guns, yes. Warlike, no. Only in self defense.
Forget it. Go away. If we didn’t have weapons, those who did would overrun us. If you didn’t have them, those who did would not see you as a threat, and thus would leave you alone. Can’t convince him, the Feds are about to leave.
Klingons are about to attack. Shields up, can’t beam Fil back down. He is on bridge to witness attack, Enterprise cripples the Klingons, lets them live. Krawg sets course to ram them, Archer orders photon torpedoes fired. Klingon blows up into little tiny pieces.
FILLENDILLE
You destroyed that ship without even hesitating.
ARCHER
He gave me no choice. You were here. You saw what happened.
FILLENDILLE
If you did not have such powerful weapons, then perhaps there would have been another choice.
ARCHER
First Speaker, if we did not destroy the Klingon vessel, then we, including yourself, would all be dead now.
FILLENDILLE
(To T’Pau) Surely you understand what I’m talking about.
T’PAU
I do understand.
FILLENDILLE
At least there’s hope for some of you.
T’PAU
I do not, however, agree. To limit our available resources would, logically, limit our choices, not expand them. If the captain had provoked the battle, or used an excess of force beyond what was necessary to preserve our lives then your argument might perhaps have merit. However, that is not the case.
ARCHER
Thank you.
FILLENDILLE
Perhaps I have misjudged you captain. May I contact my people in private to discuss it?
ARCHER
As you will. You can use my ready room if you’d like.
He doesn’t trust them not to have the ready room bugged, wants to use the rec room he saw earlier. The captain agrees to clear it out for him. When he gets there, he sees Phlox studying Earth History – gets intrigued – asks to look at the device. Phlox has got the updated files he asked for from Earth. Fillendille asks to borrow it – asks if there is a private place he can borrow for some time - looks over it – for the next few hours, he’s locked in the captains ready room with the device, while the crew discuss his intentions - cut back and forth between Captain pacing, crew arguing, Darshile whining, and Fil watching scenes of Earch history: full of violence and stuff, but also striving to reach the stars, to better themselves. Sure there’s Hitler and Stalin and Pol Pot, but there’s also Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Edith Keeler, Doctors without borders, etc., George Washington, Abraham Lincoln (Kirk’s friend), Martin Luther King, etc. Not to mention Clowns Without Borders, and entire history of musical theater, great paintings, great artists (Slip a picture of Roddenberry in there real quick) Gone With The Wind, Metropolis, Shakespeare (“Few die well who die in battle” line from Henry V), music Beethoven, Mozart, the Beatles, John Williams, some old science fiction scenes showing us dreaming of a better place in the stars long before we reached it The Conquest of Space, Destination: Moon, JFK in Rice Stadium – “The Eagle has landed” “Houston, We have a problem” The Challenger disaster – later successes – “It is better to shoot for the moon and miss, than to never get off the ground”– the first Mars colonies – up to Zephram Cochrane…
He finally emerges.
FILLENDILLE
I see you are a much more complex species than I originally gave you credit for, Captain.
ARCHER
Then you have reconsidered? You will join with us?
FILLENDILLE
No, captain. Your species’ progress in such a short time frame shows the strength in your bravery, and your ambition, but you still have a ways to go. You are not ready to accept our ways, and we are not ready to accept you with yours. Depart now.
Then, as he goes, last line: But remember us, Captain, and return someday. Perhaps in a couple hundred years, your great-grand child and mine will travel together among the stars.
