Dentistry, Dating, and the DMV
Feb. 10th, 2003 04:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
plutherusA few things I wanted to mention, but didn't get around to before:
First the least painful recent experience: I needed a root canal.
Yay.
Actually, it did come as some relief, as I'd had a rather painful lump growing on my gum, which didn't seem to be going away. I finally went into the dentist, who told me it was an abscess, and that I needed a root canal. Which meant it wasn't cancer. I figured it would be just my look to get mouth cancer a year after I quit smoking. But it wasn't. And, I gotta say, I really like this dentist. Memories of my childhood dentist haunt me, and I have a great fear of the profession in general. This guy (Dr. Goon, in Walnut Creek) doesn't believe in pain. Seriously, he thinks that pain is not something that you should tough out, but something that you shouldn't experience at the dentist. I love that.
Then, there was my date.
So I meet this woman, a friend of a friend, and we agree to go out. Casual, she's gonna come by my apartment in Pacific Heights and we'll just walk down to something from there. On the phone I suggest we walk or take the cable car. The fact that I don't own a car comes up. She is surprised by this and asks what if I need to get somewhere right away? Then I take a cab. What if I have to drive out of town? Then I'll rent one, or take Amtrak. (I prefer Amtrak, as I can read or sleep and don't have to pay attention to the road.) But what if there's an emergency? Then I'll call a damn ambulance. What the hell's she on about? I don't own a car 'cuz I don't need one. Is she a salesperson for the oil industry or something? Strike one.
OK, so she comes over. I buzz her in, when she gets there, she asks for a glass or water. (After all the intro and small talk and crap). We go into the kitchen. She sees that I have a can of Folgers sitting behind my canister of whole coffee beans. She asks about that, and I told her that I was out of coffee one day, and the only thing I could find nearby was Folgers. So I bought the can, then stuck it behind the canister once the other coffee shops were open and I could buy real coffee. I kept the folgers as an emergency backup coffee should I run out again.
She expresses the opinion that this is wasteful and silly, to have coffee that I'm not going to drink. What am I supposed to do, drink crappy coffee for a month just because it's in the house? Also, I should see how much is in the canister and get more before it's empty, and I'll never run out. She also doesn't laugh at the concept of "emergency backup coffee". Strike two.
Then, water glass in hand, we go into the living room. She sets it down on the coffee table, then shoves Widad (my cat) off the futon before sitting on it. I gape at that a bit, and she tells me that I shouldn't let the cats on the furniture. They'll get cat hair all over everything. I'm pretty much speechless as, with Widad in my lap (getting cat hair on my pants), she goes on to tell me that I should discipline the cats and they won't get onto the furniture. Bear in mind, that I have known this woman for all of 15 minutes at this point. Big old Strike Three. I realize that I don't really need to know her more, that she will not add to my life in any constructive way, and that we might as well end this right here. Obviously, neither of us is what the other is looking for. I say almost exactly that to her. She is upset at my rudeness and, after telling me I've made a mistake, I should at least try to get to know her, etc., she tells me not to call her. I ask didn't she understand what I meant when I said I didn't want to pursue a relationship, and why would she think I would call her? She stormed out. I reflect that this is my first date in about ten years, and it went about as well as my last one. Hm.
Haven't heard from her since. Neither has my friend who set us up, which he says is no big loss, he didn't really know her that well anyway. Great.
And then, there's the DMV:
A couple of weeks ago, I drove up to Portland in a car with a missing tail light. About a hundred miles south of Eugene, I get pulled over and the cop tells me that, not only is the tail light out, but that my license has been suspended since October. Suspended? I ask, in shock, I had no idea it was suspended. Even as I say it, I'm thinking, Oh, god, this sounds so lame. She's not going to believe this. I beg her not to take the license itself away, as I need to fly back, and it's my only photo ID. She relents, but tells me not to drive anymore, or they'll have to confiscate both the license and the car. Well, shit. That would be bad. So I call my friends M and C from Eugene to come and get me and drive the car up there for me (it's about 3am by the way). So they drive the 250 mile round trip to save me from possibly getting stuck in Oregon. Yay.
The following week, I finally get around to going into the DMV to find out what's going on. I wait for half an hour at the first window, and the lady there sends me to another window as soon as I begin to tell her why I'm there. So I go to the other window, and after half an hour there discover it's only for people who have brought in an SR-22, or whatever the form is the court gives you after you take care of a suspension. The lady there sends me to yet another window. 20 minute wait later, and I have a conversation that goes something like this:
"I recently found out that my license was suspended"
"What was it suspended for?"
"Well, actually, I have no idea. I was pulled over last week, and the cop told me it was suspended, but not how or why."
"You need to fix whatever it was suspended for before I can unsuspend it."
"OK, great, can you tell me what it was suspended for?"
"You have to go to the court in the district that suspended it."
"OK, great, can you tell me what district it was suspended in?"
"You have to ask whoever filed the original suspension."
"OK, great, can you tell me who filed the original suspension?"
"What was it suspended for?"
(At this point, I express an almost inhuman amount of restraint and keep from telling her that "No, what's on second.")
I do, however, allow myself the more subtle: "That's what I'm trying to find out."
"I don't know why it was suspended. I didn't even know it was suspended until last week when I got pulled over and the cop told me it was."
She eyes me suspiciously and tells me that a cop pulling me over would have confiscated the license. What, does she think I'm just making this up? She asks to see the license. I hand it to her and she tells me she'll be right back. I pull out my cell phone, and download my email. No new messages since the last line I waited in, so I launch a new game of Galaga. I'm on the fourth wave of aliens by the time she comes back.
She hands the license back to me, glaring, "I don't have any record of a suspension".
"Uh... what? Are you sure?"
"It's fine. Next!"
"Well, wait, so you checked? In the same computer that the cops see?"
"Sir, the next person is waiting."
"Well, um, OK, then. Can I get a print-out of that, so I'll have proof if it comes up again?"
She tells me that I'd have to go to a different window for that, and that there's a fee for a copy of my driving record. She doesn't volunteer any information about what kind of fee. I'm already two hours into my lunch break, and haven't eaten lunch yet. So I just leave.
Why do I just know that that decision is going to come back to haunt me?
First the least painful recent experience: I needed a root canal.
Yay.
Actually, it did come as some relief, as I'd had a rather painful lump growing on my gum, which didn't seem to be going away. I finally went into the dentist, who told me it was an abscess, and that I needed a root canal. Which meant it wasn't cancer. I figured it would be just my look to get mouth cancer a year after I quit smoking. But it wasn't. And, I gotta say, I really like this dentist. Memories of my childhood dentist haunt me, and I have a great fear of the profession in general. This guy (Dr. Goon, in Walnut Creek) doesn't believe in pain. Seriously, he thinks that pain is not something that you should tough out, but something that you shouldn't experience at the dentist. I love that.
Then, there was my date.
So I meet this woman, a friend of a friend, and we agree to go out. Casual, she's gonna come by my apartment in Pacific Heights and we'll just walk down to something from there. On the phone I suggest we walk or take the cable car. The fact that I don't own a car comes up. She is surprised by this and asks what if I need to get somewhere right away? Then I take a cab. What if I have to drive out of town? Then I'll rent one, or take Amtrak. (I prefer Amtrak, as I can read or sleep and don't have to pay attention to the road.) But what if there's an emergency? Then I'll call a damn ambulance. What the hell's she on about? I don't own a car 'cuz I don't need one. Is she a salesperson for the oil industry or something? Strike one.
OK, so she comes over. I buzz her in, when she gets there, she asks for a glass or water. (After all the intro and small talk and crap). We go into the kitchen. She sees that I have a can of Folgers sitting behind my canister of whole coffee beans. She asks about that, and I told her that I was out of coffee one day, and the only thing I could find nearby was Folgers. So I bought the can, then stuck it behind the canister once the other coffee shops were open and I could buy real coffee. I kept the folgers as an emergency backup coffee should I run out again.
She expresses the opinion that this is wasteful and silly, to have coffee that I'm not going to drink. What am I supposed to do, drink crappy coffee for a month just because it's in the house? Also, I should see how much is in the canister and get more before it's empty, and I'll never run out. She also doesn't laugh at the concept of "emergency backup coffee". Strike two.
Then, water glass in hand, we go into the living room. She sets it down on the coffee table, then shoves Widad (my cat) off the futon before sitting on it. I gape at that a bit, and she tells me that I shouldn't let the cats on the furniture. They'll get cat hair all over everything. I'm pretty much speechless as, with Widad in my lap (getting cat hair on my pants), she goes on to tell me that I should discipline the cats and they won't get onto the furniture. Bear in mind, that I have known this woman for all of 15 minutes at this point. Big old Strike Three. I realize that I don't really need to know her more, that she will not add to my life in any constructive way, and that we might as well end this right here. Obviously, neither of us is what the other is looking for. I say almost exactly that to her. She is upset at my rudeness and, after telling me I've made a mistake, I should at least try to get to know her, etc., she tells me not to call her. I ask didn't she understand what I meant when I said I didn't want to pursue a relationship, and why would she think I would call her? She stormed out. I reflect that this is my first date in about ten years, and it went about as well as my last one. Hm.
Haven't heard from her since. Neither has my friend who set us up, which he says is no big loss, he didn't really know her that well anyway. Great.
And then, there's the DMV:
A couple of weeks ago, I drove up to Portland in a car with a missing tail light. About a hundred miles south of Eugene, I get pulled over and the cop tells me that, not only is the tail light out, but that my license has been suspended since October. Suspended? I ask, in shock, I had no idea it was suspended. Even as I say it, I'm thinking, Oh, god, this sounds so lame. She's not going to believe this. I beg her not to take the license itself away, as I need to fly back, and it's my only photo ID. She relents, but tells me not to drive anymore, or they'll have to confiscate both the license and the car. Well, shit. That would be bad. So I call my friends M and C from Eugene to come and get me and drive the car up there for me (it's about 3am by the way). So they drive the 250 mile round trip to save me from possibly getting stuck in Oregon. Yay.
The following week, I finally get around to going into the DMV to find out what's going on. I wait for half an hour at the first window, and the lady there sends me to another window as soon as I begin to tell her why I'm there. So I go to the other window, and after half an hour there discover it's only for people who have brought in an SR-22, or whatever the form is the court gives you after you take care of a suspension. The lady there sends me to yet another window. 20 minute wait later, and I have a conversation that goes something like this:
"I recently found out that my license was suspended"
"What was it suspended for?"
"Well, actually, I have no idea. I was pulled over last week, and the cop told me it was suspended, but not how or why."
"You need to fix whatever it was suspended for before I can unsuspend it."
"OK, great, can you tell me what it was suspended for?"
"You have to go to the court in the district that suspended it."
"OK, great, can you tell me what district it was suspended in?"
"You have to ask whoever filed the original suspension."
"OK, great, can you tell me who filed the original suspension?"
"What was it suspended for?"
(At this point, I express an almost inhuman amount of restraint and keep from telling her that "No, what's on second.")
I do, however, allow myself the more subtle: "That's what I'm trying to find out."
"I don't know why it was suspended. I didn't even know it was suspended until last week when I got pulled over and the cop told me it was."
She eyes me suspiciously and tells me that a cop pulling me over would have confiscated the license. What, does she think I'm just making this up? She asks to see the license. I hand it to her and she tells me she'll be right back. I pull out my cell phone, and download my email. No new messages since the last line I waited in, so I launch a new game of Galaga. I'm on the fourth wave of aliens by the time she comes back.
She hands the license back to me, glaring, "I don't have any record of a suspension".
"Uh... what? Are you sure?"
"It's fine. Next!"
"Well, wait, so you checked? In the same computer that the cops see?"
"Sir, the next person is waiting."
"Well, um, OK, then. Can I get a print-out of that, so I'll have proof if it comes up again?"
She tells me that I'd have to go to a different window for that, and that there's a fee for a copy of my driving record. She doesn't volunteer any information about what kind of fee. I'm already two hours into my lunch break, and haven't eaten lunch yet. So I just leave.
Why do I just know that that decision is going to come back to haunt me?
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Creepy...
Date: 2003-02-10 06:04 pm (UTC)Re: Creepy...
Date: 2003-02-11 04:12 pm (UTC)I'm wondering now if the cop didn't just make it up to try to scare me into admitting something. Lone guy, with long hair, dressed in black, driving up I-5 in the middle of the night...hmm...
She (the cop) seemed nice, though.
When I was in college, I occasionally tried to explain to the police that I would react better to the "good cop" just because they're being polite and not trying to throw their weight around, and that maybe if they started with "good cop" they wouldn't have to do "bad cop" at all. Maybe some of them figured that this was true...
no subject
Wishes for a hyperintelligent hottie who thinks you rock are floating down the coast in your direction....
Agreed
Think of what she would sound like in a month? Or god forbid, a year? How would she deal with a Nakedbluepat anyway?
You deserve the best, and yep, Soluna is right, a hyperintelligent hottie is for you :)
Kim
Re: Agreed
Bbbbrrrrrrrrrr!
Yeah, I was kinda proud of myself, actually, after I told her to leave - and I actually did say almost exactly what I was thinking. I felt like I was channeling a certain Portland musician who we all know and love who's name begins with "T"....
And thanks to ya both for the good wishes!
Hell date
Date: 2003-02-11 01:08 am (UTC)Did you tell her you gave up your car up to a friend with a family and no way to get his 18 month old daughter to the hospital in case of an emergency? You could had done that and made her look like looser for asking in the first place. ;)
No, dude. Don't settle for anything but the best in a partner. There is one for you around the corner who will benefit from the kind of person you already are.
As my father likes to say: There is a butt for every seat.
Re: Hell date
Hah! There's a good idea. I was actually thinking the DMV one could be a good script. I've been toying with the idea of putting together a bunch of my smaller scripts into one big show. I dunno who'd buy something like that, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to try.
...could had done that and made her look like looser for asking in the first place. ;)
Oh, I totally should have done that! Guilt! Guilt! Guilt! Of course, that was before I really got to know her at all, so it wouldn't have been appropriate :-)
Don't settle for anything but the best in a partner
No intention of doing so. I've seen way too many people suffer for years in bad relationships that they were in purely out of fear of being alone. I'd rather be alone.
But of course, I'm not, really. I've got some good friends (everyone above can bow :-), I have no intention of reproducing, and I occasionally have sex. I don't really feel like I'm missing anything by not having an SO.
But thanks, everyone, for all the encouragement.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-08 04:07 am (UTC)And someone else who hates to drive!
YAY!!!
(grayarcadian's hippie sister)
no subject
Date: 2005-03-13 04:14 am (UTC)Yay! Another undriving cat lover! Will you be my friend? :)
(And I loved the "Red Menace from a couple of entries ago on your journal :)