The Coalition of the Willing
Jun. 2nd, 2003 12:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
plutherusSo, we gave Estonia $114,000,000 and, completely unrelated of course, they pledged troops to Operation Freedom Fries (or whatever it's called).
They sent 55 people.
55. Fifty-five.
That's $2,072,727.27 per person.
Dear sirs:
I noticed you are having difficulty getting soldiers to replace allies as they go home from Iraq, from your Coalition of the Willing. I am writing to apply for this position. Let me assure you that my recent layoff was merely due to cutbacks at my company, and not due to any lack of performance on my part. As you can see from the attached resume, I have extensive experience both in project management and Public Relations. While my experience as a soldier is very brief, consisting of merely joining the army once, in high school, on the Delayed Entry Program, and then deciding not to enter when I turned 18, and several Depart of Defense contracts I worked on much later as a software configuration manager. However, I understand, based on our current commander in chief's record, that this lack of experience is not necessarily a disqualification.
Now, I realized that as an American citizen, I am not necessarily what you are looking for to show broad international support for your cause in Iraq, and also that the whole idea of a broad international mandate is waning from the attention of the press. However, with the election coming up, you can be assured that your political enemies will soon again be playing up the fact that, by the time the election actually rolls around, there will be nobody left running Iraq except the US military and a handful of corporations who are all large contributors to your campaign.
My main qualification in joining your new Coalition of the Willing lies in the fact that I am neither. As a frequent and outspoken critic of several, in fact almost all, Bush Administration policies, both in Iraq and, when he has time to mention them, at home, you can plainly see that my presence in your coalition will be very beneficial to you. I ask only the same salary spent on each Estonian soldier, that is $2,72,727 for a one-year contract. However, unlike the majority of the Estonian soldiers, I will have a much higher visibility. There are people who did not even know that there were Estonian soldiers present in your Coalition. On the other hand, I can be a highly visible presence in Iraq. I speak fluent English, and will be able to run daily updates in my blog, which, through the Internet, is accessible by hundreds of millions of people worldwide, every day.
As an independent contractor, rather than a member of the US armed forces, or any large Bush campaign contributor, I will also bring a credibility that others may lack. Please consider my application for this position. Payment can be made with the first quarter of the contact amount ($518,182) deposited today into my account, and the rest quarterly throughout the coming year. I will furnish my own transportation, housing, and all other expenses myself, through the amount provided.
Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing back from you.
They sent 55 people.
55. Fifty-five.
That's $2,072,727.27 per person.
Dear sirs:
I noticed you are having difficulty getting soldiers to replace allies as they go home from Iraq, from your Coalition of the Willing. I am writing to apply for this position. Let me assure you that my recent layoff was merely due to cutbacks at my company, and not due to any lack of performance on my part. As you can see from the attached resume, I have extensive experience both in project management and Public Relations. While my experience as a soldier is very brief, consisting of merely joining the army once, in high school, on the Delayed Entry Program, and then deciding not to enter when I turned 18, and several Depart of Defense contracts I worked on much later as a software configuration manager. However, I understand, based on our current commander in chief's record, that this lack of experience is not necessarily a disqualification.
Now, I realized that as an American citizen, I am not necessarily what you are looking for to show broad international support for your cause in Iraq, and also that the whole idea of a broad international mandate is waning from the attention of the press. However, with the election coming up, you can be assured that your political enemies will soon again be playing up the fact that, by the time the election actually rolls around, there will be nobody left running Iraq except the US military and a handful of corporations who are all large contributors to your campaign.
My main qualification in joining your new Coalition of the Willing lies in the fact that I am neither. As a frequent and outspoken critic of several, in fact almost all, Bush Administration policies, both in Iraq and, when he has time to mention them, at home, you can plainly see that my presence in your coalition will be very beneficial to you. I ask only the same salary spent on each Estonian soldier, that is $2,72,727 for a one-year contract. However, unlike the majority of the Estonian soldiers, I will have a much higher visibility. There are people who did not even know that there were Estonian soldiers present in your Coalition. On the other hand, I can be a highly visible presence in Iraq. I speak fluent English, and will be able to run daily updates in my blog, which, through the Internet, is accessible by hundreds of millions of people worldwide, every day.
As an independent contractor, rather than a member of the US armed forces, or any large Bush campaign contributor, I will also bring a credibility that others may lack. Please consider my application for this position. Payment can be made with the first quarter of the contact amount ($518,182) deposited today into my account, and the rest quarterly throughout the coming year. I will furnish my own transportation, housing, and all other expenses myself, through the amount provided.
Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing back from you.
